Love Bombing

Publicado em: 22/05/2024

NARCISSIST MANIPULATION STRATEGY: 10 OUT OF 17 – Love Bombing

First phase of the narcissistic relationship: idealisation (see post: narcissism: abusive relationships).

Once upon a time, Prince Charming fell in love with a princess who lived in a castle alone and bitter. This prince was charming, well-groomed and rode a white horse with a sword in his hand. He had a clear objective: to save the princess and rescue her from her loneliness by showering her with love such as she would never have received from her carers. Vulnerable and in need of love, when the princess saw him she immediately fell in love with him and said to herself: “At last, my soul mate has arrived”. The love she never had (from her carers) has now arrived (to make up for it) in this overwhelming, intense and horny way. What madness, what a bombardment of “feel-good” hormones, she had never been so happy in her life. Surrendered to love, she accepts the prince and even conceives of having a child with him because if he’s an excellent lover, won’t he be a marvellous father? And everything happens quickly because we’ve already wasted so much time in the castle of solitude, now we have to live everything quickly, intensely and impulsively.

Love finally arrived. AND THEY LIVED UNHAPPILY EVER AFTER.

Love bombing is a bombardment of love at the beginning of the relationship that aims to create a bond with the victim and then devalue and discard them. It consists of intense and frequent displays of attention and affection;
compliments, favours and very pleasant moments;
depending on the severity of the disorder, the narcissistic person perceives the victim as the perfect person for them, seeing them as incredible and marvellous. Later, when he comes into contact with reality, he projects everything bad onto it, and he aims to destroy it (since he can’t destroy the evil that is inside him, he projects it onto the victim and tries to destroy it);
at a more disturbed level, everything is premeditated, the relationship is only of interest;
at this stage, he fully invests in the relationship, seducing, paying attention to and listening to the victim (later he uses this information given by the victim to control and manipulate her);
once the bond is established and the victim gives herself over to love, he simply loses interest and the abuse begins;
first subtly, one abuse here, another there, mixed with a couple of moments of love and affection, so that the victim becomes confused, feels guilt and shame; then the tension rises, the arguments become more heated and the conflict is more present;
often after a major conflict, where the victim is devastated, he invites her to dinner at his favourite restaurant as if it were nothing. To create more confusion and distortion of reality. This is how they work, slowly driving the victim mad;if the victim doesn’t have the emotional capacity to jump out of the relationship, the abuse escalates, the aggression can become physical (they try not to leave marks) the neighbours call the police and when the narcissist opens the door to the police officer, looking very calm and serene, he blames the victim for post-partum depression, borderline, hysterical, or simply: “Mr police officer, my wife isn’t well, you have no idea what my son and I are going through with her (playing the victim), she’s starting to scream here on her own, I don’t know what to do with her any more. ” (he doesn’t take responsibility and blames the victim for his aggressive actions). And the perpetrator feels sorry for the narcissistic person and looks at the victim as “crazy”. There can also be sexual abuse, the victim is devastated, and the narcissist threatens “if you don’t have sex with me, I’ll go with so-and-so”.
As you can see, all of this is a criminal offence (and no one had to be killed).
Psychological violence is a criminal offence.
See other manipulation strategies on my INSTAGRAM: daniela.cosme.3